I had seen you
Around for so long
That I thought
You would stay around
Forever.
Forever,
Is such a loosely
Overused word.
But perhaps
at some point
We trick ourselves into
Believing that
No matter what,
few things are here to stay.
Stay because they
are too weak to
leave.
Leave and go where?
Where else would you
rather be than stay with
Me.
Me- I never fussed
Enough
Enough about why
You don’t take your medicines
Or go see a doctor
Or go for that walk-
Or see that therapist
You have been putting off
For years.
For years, I listened to
you so indifferently-
Scrolling meaninglessly
Through my phone,
Seeing things I will never remember.
Remember?
Hah!
They call it
attention deficit
hyperactivity disorder.
Disorders that
cannot be seen
Are so insidious
Just yesterday, I was trying to
Guess if I am
Depressed
Or bipolar
Or PMSing.
PMSing? You asked
‘I think I am PMSing too.’
And neither of us laughed
Because we know it might be true.
Truth is that even
you thought,
we would be around
Forever
‘Forever’, though
Is such an overused,
Abused word.
You see, the chasm separating
psyches
is the toughest
to bridge.
A bridge
painted in
a shade called facade which
carefully disguised
our
Idiosyncrasies.
Idiosyncrasies so stark
They couldn’t sit
Next to each other,
Let alone lay.
The rain washed
over that facade and
That bridge
is burned, so
Absolutely
Completely
Permanently
That now
the silence sits
in my mouth
rotten from
unspoken words
of love and tenderness.
And I know for a fact,
That this void,
this emptiness,
this chasm-
Is here to stay
forever.
Forever, you see
After all
Is not such a loosely
Overused word.
Shivi Writes 