I told you
I'm a dreamer
and then
I dropped hints
again and again
here and there.
Repeatedly.
Yet, all you can talk about is
people
People who wronged you
or didn't.
People in
politics,
business
and bureaucracy
basking away in
second-had success
and delving into
second-had failures
You talk about boundaries
when my head is limitless
I suggest
you hammer nails
around my head
and build a fence
and see if that
might conform me
into what you want me to become.
Don't tell me about work
that is uninspired
and safe like
docu-men-tation
and how you do it for 60 hours a week.
It tires me.
It tires me
how
You talk about money
Like it can buy culture or class.
It tires me
when you recite what you
hear on one idiot box
and scan on another-
never pausing to
read between the lines
Yet, I envy you.
I envy you
for your depth as
well as outwardness
towards
things, yes, things
that I feel nothing towards
and your
stoicism
towards
subjects
that keep me
sane.
I envy how
effortlessly you stay afloat
while I am suffering
and struggling
I wonder
where are your layers?
or are you as one dimensional as
what meets
the eyes?
I dont know
what am I more afraid of.
I dare you,
for once-
Tell me about
your deepest, darkest
secrets,
fears and
fantasies
and watch me not
flinch.
I promise
I will not look away
I will not blink
and hear me out
just once -
For I am here to find out
if you can return the courtesy.
Can you for once
be real?
and not
what they are telling you to be.
For once,
can you tell me
when was the last time you felt alive.
Tag: englishpoems
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🌻
A shadow engulfs
My heart
When i remember
The sunshine
My lover wasAnd like a little girl
Off i went
Running in the parkMother said,
Come back, before it gets dark.But I was gone too far.
I was helpless.
For one doesn’t
Escape the sunlight.
One can only surrender
And so I did,
I ceded.Threw in the towel,
And lay down on it.Soaking in the golden sun
With every inch of me
Drowsed by the fondness
Of the tempest heart,
Raging to be devoured.I don’t know
how long
I lay there
I wish it were a lifetime
Because when I woke up
It was dark, and
Winter had arrivedAnd now,
the night doesn’t end.
-
Walls
The walls were
pretty high
when you first started knocking.
No, I wasn’t behind the walls.
I was curled up
Under the bed, behind
the walls.
And you walked straight in
like you
owned the place.
You started talking
And looking around,fiddling with my things
while i was still under the bed
I kept listening.
I can’t remember
at what point
did I decide to peak a boo-
Was it when you called me home?
Or was it when you told me about the time you decided to kill yourself?
Was it when you told me
you can’t sleep without me by your side
I can’t seem to recollect the exact moment
When i changed my mind
I wonder if it was when you told me if you hadn’t felt this way in a while
Or was it when you told me
that you had never felt this way before.
You said it
So many times
That i believed you
And slowly i crept out
From under the bed
And sat on it
Right where you were sitting.
And you put your
Arms around me
And told me
Your deepest darkest secretsAnd i can’t remember when
But somewhere at some point
The walls came down
Oh, I cannot seem to remember
The exact moment when
I changed my mind about you.but I know it doesn’t matter anymore
Because just when
I changed my mind
You changed yours too.
Shivi Writes 